lia!lia!

Just 13 days more. (via rideronthestorm)

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:07:46 -0500

Just 13 days more.

(via rideronthestorm)

The Awl Goes Pro-Bono

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:26:00 -0500

The Awl Goes Pro-Bono:

For the right for everyone to bone-o who they want without fear. Buy it. Digg it. Support it.

If I only found all comment threads this inanely delightful.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:17:24 -0500

If I only found all comment threads this inanely delightful.

The View.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:12:00 -0500

Last night, I had a dream in which I was being grilled by Elizabeth Hasselback on The View and she was really trying to get me to waver on my undying love and respect of Tim Tebow. Among her questions:

- Remember when Tim Tebow joined Hezbollah?

- What did you think when he got caught playing that game where they just load bodies in tanks and then tip them over and the people who don’t get crushed win?

While I can’t remember my answers for those important questions, I do remember her final inquiry, which if I recall, was a leading one:

- How do you feel about the weirdest thing Tim Tebow ever did?

My answer: “Elizabeth, I believe you are referring to that time when Tim Tebow went to bed white, but woke up African-American. I didn’t find that strange at all. Tim Tebow can do whatever he wants to do. This is America and that’s our right. I love him now and if he changed races again tomorrow, I’d love him still.”

I think this was my subconscious responding to haters hating on his Heisman nomination. But I can tell you even I didn’t realize the depth of my feelings. Damn.

The Situation. About Mario.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:40:22 -0500

Lia: Isn't it great to know that kids like, 20 years younger than us can still play Mario Brothers?
GC: Why wouldn't they?! This is how our grandparents must have felt about checkers.
Lia: Speaking of fun, come watch Jersey Shore with me again!
GC: No.

Searching for a Word.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:47:00 -0500

My ex-boyfriend got married last Saturday. While I was crying in a bar and drinking with this shady character for upwards of 10 hours, he was getting married. We were best friends for almost 9 years before we dated for three. I took a job in New York on a Tuesday, flew back to Florida that night, notified him on Wednesday and moved on Sunday about a year and a half into our relationship. Things were broken then, but we stayed together for another year and a half before we broke up over instant messenger one summer night. That was three years ago.

My sister called me and asked a very simple question, “How do you feel?” After only a moment’s hesitation my answer was “great.” But I knew that wasn’t the right word.

I remember feeling so unsure of myself during that in between. I had left a person that I knew in the fiber of my being wasn’t right for me but whom I was afraid to lose. I completely lost sight of everything I wanted. When we broke up, I felt confused. Then I felt free. Then I found GC.

Sometimes, whenever I think about where my life is headed, I think about that time and I remember how I felt. How I felt like I knew nothing and that I would never know anything ever again. I had been so sure of what the future held and then just 500-odd days later I was alone in the largest city in the world. It was such a helpless feeling. And then it led to better. And then it led to best. And it allows me to get up each day and put one foot in front of the other and trust that even though I’m in another in between best is just in front of me. I thank him for that. And I’m happy for him that he has found the same.

I kept thinking about my sister’s question because great wasn’t the answer that sounded right. How do I feel? I actually feel downright sublime.

"You see, in my view a writer is a writer not because she writes well and easily, because she has..."

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:13:07 -0500

“

You see, in my view a writer is a writer not because she writes well and easily, because she has amazing talent, because everything she does is golden.

In my view a writer is a writer because even when there is no hope, even when nothing you do shows any sign of promise, you keep writing anyway. Wasn’t until that night when I was faced with all those lousy pages that I realized, really realized, what it was exactly that I am.

”

- Sometimes I love to hate Oprah, because seriously, how are you right all of the time. I get annoyed that you are. But sometimes, I really love to love Oprah. Especially when these little curated gems pop up exactly when you need them do. This has been a weird day. I needed this.

I just drank soy sauce.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:48:47 -0500

Sometimes a lady just needs salts in liquid form.

THE BEST NEWS EVER.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:03:24 -0500

Best news ever. For reasons that should be obvious.

I was just staring at the DVD cover for this phenomenal piece of...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:56:57 -0500

I was just staring at the DVD cover for this phenomenal piece of art the other day. My copy says, “Can You Really Trust Anyone?” and then “Check Out This Hilarious Black Comedy!” That, of course, is topped off by Tommy and his incredibly awesome droopy eye.

This is also what is commonly known as “A Trifecta.”

(via jeremysgriffin)

Gators. Sugar Bowl. Sad.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 09:21:00 -0500

So the Gators go to the Sugar Bowl instead of the Rose Bowl. Saturday was one of those rare days where I managed to feel the full breadth of anger, sadness, optimism and disappointment all in the course of four hours, while simultaneously getting less and less steady on my feet.

When the game ended and the shot pulled in tight to Tebow with tears in his eyes (at which point I may have tried to telepathically communicate “Marry me and I will make sure you never feel sadness again!”) I received the first of several text and Facebook messages - FROM MIAMI FANS, THE MOST CLASSLESS AND IDIOTIC IN FLORIDA AND YES, THAT INCLUDES FLORIDA STATE - trying to talk shit.

A tidy “FUCK YOU” ended that thread with the quickness and made me feel slightly better.

Still smarting today though. Losing to Alabama is seriously the worst.

Tomorrow. Gah.

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:46:39 -0500

“The rankings say it’s No. 1 vs. No. 2. Technically, the stakes Saturday are exactly the same for both Florida and Alabama — an SEC championship and a berth in the BCS National Championship Game.

But make no mistake: the pressure meter tilts heavily toward one sideline. For Alabama, a victory will be treasured, a loss disappointing. But for Florida, a loss Saturday will render its entire 2009 season a failure.”

OMGGGGG SO EXCITEDDDD.

Lia for the Win.

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:21:47 -0500

I had to - I just had to - book my holiday flights in/out of Atlantic City. I saved myself $500 from flying in/out of New York (fuck you LaGuardia) and now have the option to gamble at my leisure. (Related.) Nothing like trying to win your family good Christmas presents and get free money to pay down your debts to let you know that life is going totally fucking rad.

Whoa: Amanda Knox Found Guilty

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:20:55 -0500

Whoa: Amanda Knox Found Guilty:

26 years. Wow. Don’t even know where to start.

If you live in New York and never go to the UCB you are NOT...

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:59:00 -0500

If you live in New York and never go to the UCB you are NOT LIVING YOUR LIFE. You can see all of these guys on the cheap almost any night of the week. It’s like Star Search and Catch a Rising Star had a baby, and that baby also sells you PBR. You can also see my own roommate there. He looks like William DeFoe, only less scary and much more funny.

This is: Gabrus, John Murray, Nate Smith on 30 Rock. (Not Pictured: Anthony Atamanuik and Gavin Speiller)

(via lookmom)

Slowly Becoming an Old Man.

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:43:00 -0500

Turning 29 was the greatest thing to ever happen to me because I now have full license to:

- Drink two beers every night and tell myself its because I need to wind down.

- Buy scratch-off lottery tickets four days a week.

- Throw mini fits when someone gets in my way of watching “the game.”

I feared old age..but that’s before I knew I could get buzzed every night and piss money away and call it adulthood.

Avoiding writing my presentation I'm making in 12 hours.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 22:01:53 -0500

And this lady also probably has one of the funniest blogs ever.

whydoihaveablog:

I’m actually becoming really resentful that there are several people within my family that do nothing with their lives and still receive praise. “(redacted) has been doing good lately.”

REALLY? YEAH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY GOOD? YOU MEAN HE’S NO LONGER 24, WITHOUT A JOB FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS AND HAS NOT GONE TO SCHOOL SINCE HE WAS 16? OH, HE GOT ANOTHER CAR FROM YOU FOR FREE? OH, YOU’RE GIVING HIM MORE GAS MONEY? OH, OH, OH, WHAT’S THIS? OH, YOU BOUGHT HIM A GIANT FUCKING MAC COMPUTER.

I HAVE TO PAY $250 FOR A MATH BOOK NEXT SEMESTER.

And then in this fantasy where I shout this at my entire family, I throw a family photo album across the room where it hits the wall and lands open-faced with a giant picture of me in the future where I’m diving into a money pool like a Scrooge McDuck and my family is outside, in the snow, with tattered clothing and dirt smeared all over their face. “Please, Caragh, let us in” They speak collectively, in a chorus.

“I don’t want you to dirty my money, you filth.” I dive deep within my 1000 dollar bills the US Government has printed specifically for me.

“But we only need a dollar to pay for our a new apartment. If we don’t get it now, we will die cold and lonely,” a single tear runs down each of their left cheeks as they all speak in unison.

“Never,” I will reply, as I poke my head out from the currency around me.

“But we’re family!” Two have died since their last sentence.

“Money is my family now,” I say haughtily after I spit out a stream of gold coins I found caught in my mouth from the dive.

‘If u pray hard enuf, ur dreamz will come true.’ —Dante I...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:57:51 -0500

‘If u pray hard enuf, ur dreamz will come true.’ —Dante

I repeat, if you are not reading matthewgallaway you are missing out! On life! And philosophical cats! And wise old bridges!

Here's a little something I wrote on Tiger Woods.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:02:08 -0500

Here's a little something I wrote on Tiger Woods.:

More coming tomorrow, too.

Aaaand I’m hysterical crying. If you are opposed to gay...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:45:42 -0500

Aaaand I’m hysterical crying. If you are opposed to gay marriage, this deserves a listen. And then I’d love to hear your reasoning against. This representative (I’m now resolved to find out everything about her ever) absolutely nails it in every way.

(via blueeyedgreek:shiningstar:daveholmes:robhuebel)